Date Safe Course

In partnership with the Nantucket Boys and Girls Club, A Safe Place is Proud to announce that this course will be offered at the club starting November 8th!  This is designed for 6th to 8th graders to participate in a 10 session course.

The Date Smart program is intended to increase young people’s understanding and to build the skills they need to achieve healthy relationships free of violence and abuse. Our goals with the Date Smart program are:

·         to provide an opportunity to gain the knowledge and skills necessary for establishing fun, safe and mutually supportive dating relationships

·         to increase members’ ability to help their friends and family members who may be experiencing dating, sexual, or domestic violence

·         to encourage youth to participate in preventing dating, sexual and domestic violence in their communities by confronting the attitudes and behaviors that contribute to abusive relationships and promoting relationships based on equality and respect

·         to connect members and their families with community-based resources for dating, sexual and domestic violence and its prevention

Please take a moment to read and reflect on the names of those in Massachusetts who were victims of Domestic Violence Homicide since last October.  Honor their memory by moving forward with resolve to help those currently struggling with violence in their homes and to work to prevent violence in the future by modeling healthy relationships.

candle light vigil

  • November 8, 2014: Audilia Daveiga, 33, of Springfield, shot to death in her home by her boyfriend, Paulo Rosa, 30, who subsequently killed himself. Daveiga is survived by two young sons.
  • December 20, 2014: Tanya Nichols, 51, of Marblehead, killed by her boyfriend, John Devine, 28. Nichols died from blunt force trauma to the head from a table Devine threw at her.
  • December 31, 2014: Gloria Resto, 42, of Waltham, was stabbed to death by her husband Julio Resto, 51, in their home. Resto is survived by two sons from a previous relationship.
  • January 5, 2015: Yahaira Hernandez, 30, of Springfield was found fatally shot to death in a running car.  Police identified the incident as an act of domestic violence by Pedro Vasquez, 40.
  • February 5, 2015: Lisa Trubnikova, 31, of Bourne was fatally shot by Adrian Loya, a fellow Coastguard worker who had been obsessed with her for years. A responding officer, Jared MacDonald, and Lisa’s wife, Anna, both suffered serious injuries from the incident.
  • February 11, 2015: Kathryn Mauka, 17, of Springfield was stabbed to death by her ex-boyfriend. There was no sign of forced entry into the home.
  • February 14, 2015: Anonymous, of Milford
  • February 15, 2015: Omar Mendez, 39, of Lawrence was fatally stabbed at his apartment by his live-in boyfriend, Miguel Rivera, 50.
  • February 17, 2015: Anonymous, of Tewksbury
  • March 11, 2015: Salina Merritt, 29, of Springfield was fatally stabbed, allegedly by Erick Buchanon, 46. Two other people were stabbed in the attack and survived their injuries. Merritt had one daughter and two sons.
  • March 18, 2015: Michelle Batista, 31, of Framingham was fatally shot by her boyfriend, Allen Murphy, 27, who then committed suicide.
  • March 27, 2015: Donna Buonanduci, 45, of Peabody was beaten to death with a hammer and bat by her ex-husband, Joseph Buonanduci. They had been divorced in February and had a 17 year old son.
  • March 27, 2015: Anonymous, of Webster
  • May 5, 2015: Monique Van Zandt, 25, of Springfield was fatally stabbed by her boyfriend Van Dorsey, 27, while he was allegedly under the influence of PCP. He claims to have no memory of the incident.
  • May 17, 2015: Christine Giordano, 45, of Wakefield was stabbed to death by her estranged husband, Daniel Burns, 42, when she sought him out to reconcile.
  • June 11, 2015: Cedric Taylor, 37, of Leominster was stabbed by his girlfriend, Stephanie Cruz, 28, after being released from the Worcester County House of Corrections where he had been awaiting trial on a domestic assault and battery charge against her.
  • June 16, 2015: Cheryl Young, 55, of Peabody was stabbed in the heart by her live-in boyfriend Brandon Hoar, 59 who claimed he had by trying to protect Young’s 5 year old granddaughter from Young, who suffers from bipolar disorder.
  • July 14, 2015: Matilde Gabin, 33, of Lawrence was shot to death in her driveway by her estranged husband, Nelson Delarosa, 65, who then committed suicide. She had filed for divorce in June.
  • September 1, 2015: Kate Church, 31, of Georgetown, died most likely from injuries inflicted by her husband, Matthew Church, 33, earlier in the day. She had refused medical treatment and when the police returned to check on her, she was dead.


A Life Has Ended

A life has ended, with the passing of a friend,
the memories of times, have come to an end,
their threads wove the fabric of an earlier day.

A life has ended, with the passing of a friend,
sunrises and sunsets, bright days and dark nights
circled again and again, and gave context to this life,
moment after moment, their life was lived each day.

A life has ended, with the passing of a friend,
lives have been touched by the dear one’s journey,
laughter, tears, hopes, fears, a life has come to an end 
memories hold their spirit alive, in my own life.

A life has ended, with the passing of a friend,
the loss of future moments, that will not be,
grateful for moments shared, that nourished me,
moments lived, in casual belief, they would never end.

A part of me has ended, with the passing of a friend,
be they gone from the earthly plane, their spirit soars,
to renew again, in summerland, heaven or another life,
I know not where, but their love remains with me,
for in this life, we friends, did share.

I miss my friend, but they will always be near, inside
of me, inside you, and all who took time to hear,
the music of this life so dear, a life now silent,
living only in the memory, of those who survive.

Copyright Abby Willowroot 2009


Take a Night Off for A Safe Place

Take the Night Off

photo courtesy of Shawn Monaco

You can spend time doing something with your family and friends (or by yourself) and still support A Safe Place!

Consider the following activities:

  • Meet a friend and walk your dog at Tupancy Links. ($50)
  • Pack a picnic and take in a free concert at Children’s Beach. ($100)
  • Look at the boats and browse the art galleries on the wharves. ($250)
  • Watch the sunset and go star-gazing with your sweetheart.. ($500)
  • Order take-out and enjoy a relaxing evening at home! ($1,000)

Make your donation to Take a Night Off online or print out the RSVP Card (PDF) and send it to A Safe Place, 5B Windy Way, Nantucket, MA 02554.

October was Domestic Violence Awareness month

This year all of our Silent Witnesses featured tips on how to prevent and recognize Domestic Violence.

Silent Witness Figures 2010 for flyer

1. If you suspect a friend or family member is in an abusive relationship, encourage her or him to get help.

2. Call the police if you hear or see a couple or family fighting.

3. If someone discloses abuse, listen without judgment and offer help when she or he is ready to seek help.

4. Take claims of abuse seriously. Domestic violence affects women and men who differ by age, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, religion, and cultural background.

5. Distribute A Safe Place cards and brochures to help raise awareness about the various forms of domestic abuse.

6. Educate yourself and your loved ones about domestic abuse, and recognize that domestic abuse is characterized by a pattern of power and control.

7. If you suspect that a friend or family member is in an abusive relationship, seek help to learn about how you can best support your friend or family member.

8. Talk to your children about building healthy relationships and how to recognize signs of abuse.

9. If you see a couple getting into an argument, create a simple diversion—such as asking for the time or directions—to help de-escalate the situation.

10. If you witness a friend or family member abusing his or her partner, express your concern and encourage your friend or family member to seek help.

11. If your child witnesses abusive behavior, explain why the behavior is wrong or hurtful and seek help if needed.

12. Familiarize yourself with domestic violence red flags, and seek help if your partner:

  • Is jealous and possessive
  • Humiliates or criticizes you
  • Blames you for his or her behavior
  • Threatens to hurt you, your children, or your pets
  • Prevents you from seeing friends and family
  • Limits your access to money, food, and other resources

13. Speak up if you see an animal being hurt.

14. Be aware and inform others that animal abuse is linked to domestic violence.

Virtual Vigil

Please take a moment to read and reflect on the names of those in Massachusetts who were victims of Domestic Violence Homicide since last October.  Honor their memory by moving forward with resolve to help those currently struggling with violence in their homes and to work to prevent violence in the future by modeling healthy relationships.

vigil candles

  • 11/3/2013            Shirley Ju, age 64, of Natick
  • 11/18/2013          Mei Kum Jones, 43, of Arlington
  • 11/18/2013          Colt Jones, 1, of Arlington
  • 11/18/2013          Cameron Jones, 1, of Arlington
  • 11/30/2013          Colleen Butler, 60, Sutton
  • 1/15/2014            Mabilia Maranhao, 22, of New Bedford
  • 2/17/2014            Anonymous, age unknown, of Springfield
  • 2/20/2014            Solanlly Paulino, 23, of Peabody
  • 4/8/2014              Anonymous, age unknown, of Boston
  • 4/22/2014            Elizabeth Coyne, 81, of Weymouth
  • 5/3/2014              Edward Dill, 36, of Brockton
  • 5/7/2014              Andrew Wagner, 31, of Worcester
  • 5/16/2014            Anonymous, age unknown, of Salisbury
  • 5/16/2014            Florence Beaulieu, 27, of Brockton
  • 6/11/2014            Patricia Langley, 52, of Rockland
  • 7/20/2014            Anonymous, age unknown, of Ludlow
  • 10/5/2014            Ramonita Colon, 58, of Springfield

Passing Beyond Sight

Those we love must someday pass
beyond our present sight…
Must leave us and the world we know
without their radiant light.
But we know that like a candle
their lovely light will surely shine
To brighten up another place
more perfect… more divine.
And in the realm of Heaven
where they shine so warm
and bright.
Our loved ones live forevermore
in God ’s eternal light.

 We hope that you are participating in the Silent Witness prevention and awareness competition this month.  Use this form ASP Silent Witness Project (PREVENTION COMPETITION) – PDF to write all the tips you find on each witness and return to A Safe Place.